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Friday, November 11, 2011

Day 18: Open the window and take a deep breath

My cousin and I used to laugh because anytime we'd get upset, her dad would say "take a deep breath" or "just breathe". We would giggle foolishly. Now that we're grown up, we see he was right. This was a man who struggled with addiction himself but he had the right idea.
If we don't take a deep breath, then we hyperventilate and shut down. Every conscious deep breath we take should be treated like you just opened a window after a long winter. The spring air comes rushing in and you take a deep breath and what do you feel?
I forgot all I had learned during my set back. To start with a big breath and then focus on the tension in my body and then let the thoughts come. But remember they are just that.........thoughts.
That is why it is so hard to keep my faith. We cannot literally "see" God. He is just a thought. But we need to open the window and let the toxic thoughts blow away in the breeze. We need to hold on to and care for the thoughts that are precious to God. How do you hold on to the good thoughts and let the toxic ones blow away?

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.


  1. Hi there!

    I got the link to your blog from MB before it was removed. I don't know if you've ever read anything there by me or not -- probably not unless you've been reading older posts. I am MrsWondering there - a FWW. [My husband posts as MrWondering] I haven't posted in quite a while due to being very involved in one of our daughter's activities since the summer. That activity has finally ended and now I'm trying to play "catch up" on MB.

    Dday was a little over 6 years ago for us, we consider ourselves fully recovered, and we couldn't be happier. No one ever regrets doing the right thing. ;)

    I just wanted to reach out and encourage you to stick around there offering help to others. That helped us more than just posting about our own story ever could have -- we have learned so much by being "of service" to others -- that's even biblical! Seems that God knows a thing or two about what makes all of us tick -- Who woulda thunk it? :P We also did the MB Weekend back in 2007 -- it's incredible! It's now been replaced by the MB Online Program -- I would highly recommend that for the two of you.

    I've read your whole blog and all of your MB posts -- You are doing very well -- I still see a bit of the "stinkin' thinkin'" -- but not that much for being as early as you are in this process. Stay the course of NC and marital recovery -- it is so very worth it. More than I could ever describe.

    A little about me -- I'm 42 years old -- I suffered from depression on and off for years prior to my affair [with a single/divorced OM from my past] -- I had postpartum as well. We have quite a few things in common. I tried just about every antidepressant on the market -- all would appear to help for short bits of time, but never long term. It wasn't until I learned something so very valuable on MB that I was able to kick it for good. The simple secret? FEELINGS FOLLOW ACTIONS. If we act in ways that we want our feelings to follow, they WILL -- no joke, it works! That's not to say that the struggle with the flesh isn't still there -- the flesh is a lazy, three toed sloth, :D and many times you have to drag it kicking and screaming to do the right thing -- but if you are persistent and ACT no matter what, your feelings really will follow, and the depression will be GONE. Promise.

    I'd love to have a dialogue with you and see if there is anything of value that I might offer you on your recovery journey -- and I'm sure there are many things that I can learn from you as well. If you'd like to "talk" to me, feel free to start a "call out" thread for me on MB, or just post an update on your own thread. I'll be around. If you need "references" because some random stranger posted to you on your blog [lol], you are certainly welcome to look up my posting history on MB -- and/or you can ask WPG about me -- or ML -- or anyone that's been around there for any length of time. I'm fairly certain that any of them would vouch for me. :)

    Hope to hear from you soon. Take care & God bless.


  2. To MrsW...She HAS done WAY MORE than just tell her story. Because of her honesty and fearless divulging of her feelings/story, she has given ME courage and knowledge that I can survive!